Things you don’t have to feel bad about:
- Your anxiety
- Your depression
- Your internal struggle
- The impact life is having on you
These circumstances can be a big part of life, and however you feel about it is incredibly valid. It’s no myth that these are life-long battles and that coping can be difficult and daunting.
And the thing about coping is that it’s very unique to every individual and experience. Dealing with these things can be very challenging; but you are more than what you struggle with, and you still deserve to grow. I promise that life is still full of amazing twists and turns that you haven’t even gotten to yet. But I know that’s hard to imagine in the thick of what one can be dealing with. So let me introduce Healing 101. Below are a few ways to get closer to just feeling like a human again.
Learn To Be Your Own Best Friend
“Healing isn’t about changing who you are, it’s about changing your relationship to who you are.” -Suzanne Heyn.
The biggest part about feeling like a functioning human being again comes from learning to become your own best friend, your own validation and solace. Your brain will only start changing from seeing the negative and dreary when you start feeding it positive energy and perspective. It all starts with and comes from YOU. Because only do you hold the biggest self-game-changing key.
If you’ve ever tried to look at yourself in the mirror and say something kind to yourself and ended up feeling embarrassed or uncomfortable, you are not alone. It can be really difficult to talk kindly to yourself AND believe it when you’re so used to feeding yourself negativity and self-doubt. Affirmations are hard. Daily affirmations can be even harder. But they are incredibly beneficial and crucial to how you view and treat yourself in the long-run.
Learning to be your own best friend means that you recognize when something or someone is weighing you down. Being your own best friend means being in sync with your intuition and trusting your instincts. When bad things happen, you should want that feeling to change. Being your own best friend means that you put your emotional and mental health first, no matter who that may affect or what you may have to give up to get there. You have to give a little to see real change, even if that’s scary and hard.
A lot of talk, I know.
Inspo is what I’m really here for so here’s a small list to get you started on becoming your own best friend:
- Develop a 3-4 step daily skincare routine — a small daily self-care activity can help get your day started off on the right foot.
- Dedicate a long and cleansing sure to yourself once a week — these showers are life changing. Finding time to dedicate to yourself when you can is a huge win. Enough said.
- Start your morning by journaling — thoughts, fears, tasks, and affirmations. Get to know yourself well. Be so self-aware it’s scary.
- Start setting small professional and personal tasks to get done during the day — holding yourself accountable to something will instantaneously give you a jolt of pride and accomplishment.
- EAT NOURISHING BREAKFASTS — fueling your body is a big deal. Fueling your body well is an even bigger deal. Your body deserves your best.
- Find a happy place — incorporate a happy place/happy hour in your schedule a few times a week. Something that gives you solace and a little peace of mind and heart. This can be anything from getting to a cafe every week or finding a nicer route to work or finding a workout regime that gives you those needed endorphins.
- Get outside 3x a week — seriously. The outdoors is healing all in itself.
- Pick up a new/old hobby — we all need a place to escape. Pick up an old hobby or find a new one. Something you’re passionate about and something that makes you forget the rest of the world exists.
- Make yourself cry — I’m serious. Crying can be such a good release. Go put on sad songs and bawl. Watch a sad movie and bawl. Read a book that gets you teary-eyed. You need a good release sometimes. It helps. I promise.
It’s so important to find movement that you love and that makes you feel good. Your body loves and needs movement. Feeling better about yourself starts with what you’re doing to get moving.
Daily movement doesn’t have to be hard. 30 minutes is all you need and all your body wants. That’s less than 4% of your day. With daily movement, you’ll learn to appreciate everything your body does for you and it’s already been proven that being active brings about so much mental and emotional release and clarity.
Moving when you’re feeling anxious or “in-too-deep” is a ridiculously healthy way to cope. Encourage yourself to start figuring out what movement you genuinely like.
Start searching for a form of movement that you really enjoy. It’s only going to bring about good and better things.
Movement inspo list:
Start A Selfcare Routine
Selfcare does not always have to be wine and a hot bath. Selfcare can be weekly or monthly reflection and deciding to make future changes. Selfcare can look like looking inward and seeing what you can find. Gratitude journaling can do a lot. It gives you a chance to really decipher good things that happened throughout the day. It’s a chance to remember small moments where you smiled or laughed, where you felt okay, even if just for a moment. If you’re in a self-esteem spiral, try to list 5 to 10 things that you loved about yourself that day or what good things happened. These simple, self reflective practices have been proven to automatically boost negative moods and thinking.
Selfcare also looks like reading and resting when you have other things to accomplish. It looks like crying and relapsing. It looks like skincare, or experimenting with makeup. It looks like long canyon drives. It looks like turning off your phone for the day. It looks like therapy. It looks like pottery, art, and crafts. It gets to look like whatever you want it to look like. And it’s allowed to look like struggle and strife. It does not have to be pretty. What matters is that it’s consistent and unique to your individuality. Small effort is still energy. Start doing something that brings a little bit of joy or peace to your life.
The road to recovery and healing can be long. When you start to feel like you’re “in too deep” and stuck in a negative life spiral, repeat the previous steps to keep moving forward. It can be incredibly easy to forget the strengths that you have within yourself. But we’re put on this earth with friends and family, and sometimes, life is too much to bear alone. Reach out. Resources and support are there for a reason. Sometimes it’s hard to believe in better days and in trusting that your struggle will cease. When this occurs and it is too much, reaching out to your support systems can really be a miracle.
You have to remember that you still have a lot of time to make yourself whatever and whoever you want to be. You are allowed to fall in love with everything you are. You are allowed to fall in love with your dreams, ambitions, and aspirations. You can still create your own happiness even in the thick of darkness and struggle. You get to choose your outcome.
You are already a beautiful being; but you can’t blossom if you don’t try. Slow progress is still progress and I promise, that even when it may not feel like it, you are still progressing.
So be proactive. Be proactive with your self-care and your movement. Be practice with learning how to be your own validation. Be proactive in how you treat yourself. Be proactive in reaching your goals. Be proactive in learning how to embrace who you are.
Try to love your today’s, and be more optimistic about your tomorrow’s. Every day is your fresh start. Keep growing love for yourself and learn how to nurture it. You will always need it. You are entirely worthy of a happy and confident life. And at the very core of your being, lies the strength, persistence, and confidence that you need to continue. So when you start to feel like you are heading down a black and deep spiral, it’s time to instead, reflect and conquer.
If you are struggling with life, it’s okay. Be consistent and patient.
You don’t have to be a whole human right now. You’re allowed to struggle, to not be okay in any form.
Healing is not linear; it’s not meant to be. You’re allowed to feel and deal with hard things and you’re allowed to take your time in coming back from them. You don’t have to erase your trauma and dealings to be okay again. And I promise that one day, you will be whole again. Always be authentic to how you’re feeling. Healing gets better the longer it continues. Time heals all wounds. There are still so many things you haven’t experienced; so many things you haven’t even gotten to yet. So many doors are still waiting to be opened by you and there is purpose in your pain.
Start believing your abilities to get through it. You have incredible strength within you, and it’s time to tap into that.